New Mamma,Lonliness Syndrome and Solution

"Relax, Relax ,Relax you are doing good dear! What made you think that you are not good enough for your baby. Don't mind what they say."

My hubby calmed me down as I started throwing things on him for the things I heard about me downstairs on his phone. Everybody was talking about my negligence which made my child ill.  I knew it's nothing important still could not control my temper.

There was no one with whom I can speak my heart out and say what I was going through.
That moment I realized something is not good with me.

Beautiful women out there reading my post, you must have experienced the same once in a life post pregnancy. After reading my post if you can relate with it, please share your experiences.

I felt kind of distanced from everyone specially my husband. I never knew I will go through this and regret for being pregnant, though at that point of time I felt so, for which I am sorry today.

I remember how my fast busy bubbly life changed into slow lazy lazy yet busy life.

After 5 days in hospital I came back home with my little bundle of joy.
As on sixth day ,we have this chatti celebration at home with puja and a dinner party.

So many people came and blessed two of us from a distance as my mom in law told everyone not to touch the Baby or enter my room for infection thing .

I saw Minti Massi wearing this beautiful red saree, I wanted to compliment her, to greet her personally.
Chachaji flew overnight from Mumbai to bless us.
I wanted to talk to them meet them , however my stitches were still hurting so I kept laying on bed beside baby.

His many friends also came to visit us, but all just a "hii and bye with  take care" jingles.

I had my dinner in my room alone. A new maid was accompanying  me ,but I didn't know what to say or talk with her.

For few months baby kept sleeping most of the time and I was sitting beside her watching her grow everyday.

Days passed by, and with each passing day kind of distance grew with everyone.

Now, I  keep my phone at bay or silent as she wakes up and cry with phone ringtone.I avoid going out as it might not be comfortable for her.

I keep watching my best buddies posting pics of party and movie and in every pic they tag me with the message" WE MISS YOU".

Movie and going out for a dinner was now a distant dream as she need to be fed at every two and a half hour.

My life has changed from M to XXL.
Hair and eyebrow look liked never been to parlor.
In the name of clothes , only had payjamas and payjamas as they gave me ultimate comfort.

The two of us were connected with one topic baby baby and baby. The more I was close to baby, the more away from others .

I was loosing my confidence.
My day and night were same all about her.
My hubby left his bed so we two can get enough space.

My life was all about feeding, potty, cleaning, pee, again cleaning and again feeding.

One day I called up my mother and she asked," How's baby,how she doing ?"
I got annoyed,and told her loudly "KABHI MERA BHI HAAL PUCHIYE "" Do u remember about me? No body is concerned about me.As if I am alone."
And I started crying.

She calmed me down and gave me very valuable advice.
She asked me," Do you find me alone?"
I said, "No?"

Then how can you be aloof ,this is the most beautiful phase when your kido needs you for everything. One day she will grow up and you will hardly need to do anything for her.

Have patience!!

Live it to the fullest, enjoy it ,cherish this blessings and when she is asleep try to find a positive engagement for yourself ,you will be too busy to think about being lonely.

She asked me to do whatever I have planned to do in my life being at home.

This helped me a lot.Then I realized the reason behind my anger is my monotonous life. I make other go away from me by repeatedly talking about the same thing.

I remembered ! How at some point of my life I was looking for some holiday so that I can stay at home and do my things and take care of my princess at same time.

I made a to do list and started working on it.

I read many favorite books,I wanted to read.
I learned new apps and few techniques.
I saw many of my favorite movie , I wanted to watch from a long time.

I changed my wardrobe and started working on my health to fit in that dress.

I Started blogging, which I was thinking from a long time.

Sometimes I gave  treat to myself and did some online shopping and ordered pizza for us.

Pizza was something we both were mad about. This made us spend quality time with each other and now I have plenty of things to talk about.


Gradually, my baby grew I enjoy every smile every walk of her and keeping myself busy helped me out from loneliness Syndrome.

Conclusion: Nothing in the world is worse than depression. It brings bad luck for everyone. Ladies post pregnancy, if you are going through the same syndrome, better start working on it. As gradually it will take away everything from you, and you will be lonely. Try to find some engagement, like the things you wanted to do but could not do. Follow some of your passion and I am sure it will rejuvenate you life like never before. 

My bridal Lahanga ,the talk of the town !!

" लहंगा  हुआ हैं ,बड़ा महँगा !
  मैं चूनरी लें आया।

मेरा ये लहंगा ,बड़ा हैं महँगा ,इसे ना हाथ लगा।

And many more songs are dedicated to our own Indian Brideswear "LEHANGA".

In Indian wedding lehanga is center piece of marriage function.Even if you look at any celebratiy wedding,you will get a hundred description with price tag of lehanga in newspaper and magazines.

From small town to developed metro city lehanga obsession is same.I remember,as a child visiting relatives places and listening the story of lehnaga purchasing and price tag war.It's a kind of dangal in our society who can get the unique and most expensive one.

In our house my Bua got the expensive one,the one of dadi's collection weaved from gold and silver thread.

Now,as a bride it was my turn to have it all.

 I went through all,right from the lehanga shopping to it's price war. I won't believe they even had a bet on it.

Eww...

I guess ,the first thing which comes in mind of parents after fixing marriage is,where we gone purchase "Bridal Lehnga".

I tell you the parents of today are ready to travel from Delhi to Mumbai,Mumbai to Kolkatta and from Chennai to Chandigarh in search of the best.

Below l lakh is like eating Panipuri instead of Raj Kachauri.

Common,Well few bride are also obsessed for a one time wonder of life but in my case my parents were more obsessed  with that dress as it was gone to define their social status in society.

I bet you,hardly 1% of girls wear their bridal lehnga again in their life. Gone are the days ,when brides feel lucky to have her mother sari or lehnga.

Time has changed,so our bride.

Mine was a june wedding, all the shopping of shadi was to be done from our own city as they have plenty of options, but this one lahnga made me run around the world.

I completed my masters and was to come back home this January. My parents came to take me back home.

I have this huge luggage and lots of pressure of new job ,shadi and all.We were to come back same day, but my mom wished to visit Jaipur famour Bapu Bazar,Johri Bazar ,Meena Bazar and all in search  of the best.

Her first word to seller was,show me something nice,must be above Rs1 lakh.

I was like, has she gone nuts?
I grabbed my mother hand and spoke in her ears. What are you doing? 1 lakh that  too for a one time wonder, no way. Better give me that money, I will have Gucci and Dior.

But she was in no mood to listen any word.We went from shops to shops but didn't got that one piece. Instead she spent lakhs of rupees on some expensive sarees and suits for our few high profile relatives.

We came back home,In few days I was to join my new job in Delhi.
 My shadi other preparation were going on,while my lahanga search was still on. She took me to our local market we saw at least a 100 piece but nothing stuck her,she kept saying ye wala uski shadi me deka,Vo wala uski shadi me....bla.bla.

Finally, the shopkeeper ,a friend of father suggested,why don't you buy a designer lahanga,It's not available right now,but if you want I will get that for you.Anyways this din't suit her and we came back with lots of shopping for our friend and relatives family.

I went Delhi,and her search was on.
One day, my dadi suggested my mom why don't you make her a customized lahanga made with silver and gold thread, I gave it to my daughter, she still loves it.Moreover ,she was praised in her sasural for that. My mamma agreed and said ,you are right maaji .

Then my Dadi said,"I am always right, that is a different matter that you came empty handed from your mother house." My dadi never leaves a moment of taunting my mom.

Anyways, this stuck my mom abruptly. She called the jewellar and asked about the rate of Gold and Silver of the day and how much thread is required to make that lehanga. She  called me up and narrated the whole story,I was in office so I kept nodding and said whatever you think best go for it.

Now she was too happy, as now she got the perfect dress to show.Meanwhile my mother best friend and adviser Minni massi came, mum shared her idea,and waited for massi reaction.

Massi said thik hai,nothing new as तेरी ननद को भी वहीं ,तेरी बेटी को भी वहीं ,,,ना ना ,वैसे भी लोगों को पता कैसे चलेगा ,तू ३० लाख दहेज़ दे रही हैं

Mum totally agreed,wahi to my sister in law was married in free,without dowry in that era.Now that I am giving so much cash, it must be reflected in my daughter dress.

Minni massi daughter was staying in Kolkatta. They planned for visiting Kolkatta.

They started telling I am getting my designer Lehnga from Kolkatta.

Days passed and due to dadi illness mum didn't managed to visit Kolkatta. She kept asking me to visit Kolkatta for a day and get a lehnga as now it was  a question of pride.

She even told in my in laws that I am getting a Desighner Bridal Lehnga from Kolkatta,

Everybody eyes was waiting for that one piece lahanga.

No body was interested in bride or groom or what they do, expensive lahnga was centre of attraction.

Finally,out of their pressure,I went Kolkatta and came home with that lahenga.

I didn't share any pics or anything with them and came directly with it.

The price tag was of Rs 2,00,000, I told them their was a discount and got it in Rs 1,75,000.

I can see the happiness in my mums eye,as she was so obsessed with the lahanga that she didn't cared about any other expense and broke her last FD to finance my lahanga.

In our society marriage is such an expensive affair.People invest all their savings madly on one event  out of affection and peer pressure.

I didn't accept the idea of dowry but my father always stopped me from speaking about these thing.

Mamma kept flaunting my dress to every relative with it's price tag. Slowly the rumors spread like fire in jungle.

Till date,my lahanga became the best lahnga of town.No one cared to check the material or work all that enough was big designer label with price tag.

Finally, the day came everyone kept comparing,praising my mamma ,clicking my pic and asking about the name of shop from where I got this lehanga.

For many days rumors was on.

After few days of my marriage ,I came home and saw my mamma bit restless. She was busy in clearing bills and the financial pressure was worrying her.

While talking ,I told her wasting Rs 2 lakhs on Lahanga was waste,
वैसे भी ,रात बीती ,बात बीती
अगली शादी  तक लोग सब भूल जायेंगे
किसे याद रहेगा या फर्क पड़ेगा ,कितने का लहंगा था।

She was listening silently and said
हाँ थोड़ा जायदा हो गया
वैसे  भी दुबारा तू तो पहनेगी नहीं।

Now, what to do,ab to paise bhi chale gay hmmm. She agreed but hided her emotion.
I smiled and  transferred 2 lakhs in her account,and asked her to check her phone.

And she shouted.

what is this?I said you money. What?

I hold her hand and we both sat on sofa. Actually I want to tell you something,I didn't bought any lahanga, I took on rent from designer and returned it.

But Why? you know,I have the money,I gave you out of love not pressure.

Please mamma, we both know the truth, it was out of our dikhave wali shadi that we waste so much on single night.

Few things ,I cannot stop but something which is in my hand at-least will try to stop.
It's your money ,please keep it. Let's be happy we managed to save a bit and had our rumors and we both giggled.

Poverty !! I didn't made a choice

A little sun,
A little moon

                               

Is enough for someone,

Who loves to bloom.

He has the courage to fight                             
As poverty, is not his birthright.

Bata ki chappale bahut acchi Hoti hain,thori mahngi hoti hai,papa ne birthday pe gift kiya tha . 

Dekho 2 saal se pehen Raha hoon Abhi tak nai tooti, Han do Baar tooti thi ,mummy ne silwa diya.

Dekho how new it looks.

As he finished, everybody started laughing .

Eww, who does wear that stinky chappal.

If you have to play with us , you have to come in crocs or shoes.

Mummy kept asking him, why don't you go out and play with those kids, he kept making excuses of homework and all ,one day after being humiliated again in school bus ,he lost his calm and started crying. He narrated all the incidents, how inferior he is made to feel everyday.

How, he is loosing his confidence everyday. How he finds it difficult to mix with the kids in school.

They always have a story of vacation ,flight ,restaurant, birthday party etc, and he laughs with them, to hide his sorrow. He told her mother how once asked about the name of flight he is going ,he abruptly told  Narendra  Modi flight and everybody laughed .

He told her, how he  does not need any of these thing but they make him feel that he is poor that's why he does not have such things.

"Are we poor maa?"  He looked at her mother and asked. Her mother  paused and again said with a smile "No...

I don't feel so??"

He was merely in STD 3 , and this life was looking so harsh for him.

His mother consoled him and asked does any of them have Pinky mausi, Suraj chacha or Pyari dadi?

His eyes started to shine and he shouted, ya I have all of them , I am more richer .He forgot his sorrow and started playing with her sister.

She consoled him by words but couldn't pacify her grief. She was feeling so restless and miserable as she can't help his child from going through all these thing.

Only one thing kept haunting her mind.

If they are poor, Is it there fault?

They have not made a choice of being born in a poor family.

Is it the only criterion to judge our character.

Why they are always assumed to be needy and miserable.

She remembered, how one's 3rd floor wali Mehta family invited everyone for puja at home.

She went there with her 3 year old daughter. They were vary rich people of society. She didn't want to go, but her husband insisted you should go and try to mix up with them.

As puja was finished ,she took prashad and came back home.

She remember, how during puja everyone was only talking about new jewellery collection,sari ,kitty and children extra activities classes.

She kept listening to them and smiled sometime.

Her daughter was looking anxious watching so many toys and other children playing with them.

She tried to keep her away with them, but she started crying, other ladies insisted her to let her play with other kids.

As she came home ,next morning Mehta aunty came to her door, "Lata can you come out for a sec." She was worried , she came out. Mehta Aunty started saying Don't mind lata as you know these kids, if they don't have it, they stole it. Sometime why don't you purchase new toys to your kids. See na ,I purchased an expensive doll to Tuktuk it's missing today and she is crying for the same. Hope you remember your child playing with doll in my house yesterday.

Ya aunty,I  do remember !

Good,can you please check if it's in your house

She was shocked!!

What the hell you are speaking. Please aunty ,have you seen her taking, how can you blame someone.

Thank you for invitation, next time please pardon me from any celebration.

She was about to  shut the door than aunty said, by the way your curtain looks very poor why don't you wash or change sometime.

She shut the door and sat on the sofa. Out of anger and disgust she was sweating so much. Her anger was on peak. She took a glass of water and thought for a while.

Her daughter was playing in bedroom. She went to her and asked gently do you want that big doll you were playing yesterday. She said yaaa!!

Ok tell me who has taken the doll ,Harsh ,Chaya or Ankur . Those were other kid playing that day.

Yaa mummy Harsh took that doll from me, he was telling he will take that home.

Good girl,I will buy you that one soon.

Harsh was again an affluent family child of my daughter age living in same floor where Mehta aunty lived.

She took a sticky note,and wrote please visit your neighbor house someday, may be you will get your doll.

She knew, If she would have been rich it would be named borrowed but as she is poor , she is labelled as intentional thief.

Why money is only a criterion to judge a persons character?

Why they always find a reason to mock me and my children?

Why I am labelled with the brand I use. They are no more worried about my caste, my education ,my achievements.

The only thing that matters is money. 

Money is never stable ,she keeps on running.

You never know ,when you have and when you don't. What matters is pure heart which they don't have.

They spend lakhs on a vacation to find happiness, thank God we have it in abundance at our sweet home.

10 Things, She Overthinks Everyday !!

Her childhood memories comprise  of  mixing pencils shaving in milk and waiting for the eraser to come out, or burring a flower in mud and waiting for  lots of flower to bloom next day, or the moment she lies her nose will grow bigger like Pinocchio!

Those were so tense moment for a child,though result was obviously no,but that didn't hurt her very low. Today as a young women, when she see her life, it's as per her desire, maximum results are yes, still she is more tensed.

She always wished for a caring hubby, kids, job, everything .She has all, still she feels kind of emptiness.

People say she overthinks, does she? Why she cannot help it.

Here are  her share of things which always battle in her mind

1. She was kind of organised person, she loved to see everything at their right place. Later on when  she was occupied with kids and job, she couldn't help it as she didn't have time or energy for doing these thing. Sometimes, she use to overstretch herself which only created physical and mental exhaustion. For a while it looks good but at the moment they play all the same. She always had an argument with her maid, her hubby and whoever is with her on this matter.          Finally, she thought it's better to give up this thing or she will be the most disliked person in her home. It was tough, but she gave up.                                                                                
2. Over the time she felt, she is apologizing too much for everything and anything. She always try to smooth over rough patches before it becomes potholes. In this process she never realized, it's causing her more grief than it's worth. She always thinks she is not a good wife anymore. In the journey of being a good mother a good employee, wife became a less important role. She do care and she wants him to know, she loves him more than anything for being there for her. It's not like she does not care for him anymore rather she adores him more for being a support system for her.                                         
3. She is always in search of second, third and many more opinion. Sometime, she looses her confidence and the feeling of taking responsibility becomes terrible for her.                                
4. She is in a party. Everybody is enjoying food and she is thinking, oh! wish they would have served daal roti instead of Garlic naan and butter chicken, an extra calorie means an extra round of park. Looking fit wala pressure before her and her friend pressure sometimes take the food out of her mouth.                                                                                                                               
5. At night she always dream of next day schedule. What to cook, how to look, whom to meet, list of groceries to buy while coming back home, school meeting, exams and many more. She don't know when she sleeps.                                                                                                                                        
6.  Thinking about future, she forget to enjoy her present.No body knows future but she cannot help herself from being futuristic.                                                                                                                                                                      
7. Phone is one thing, she always wish to ring on time. They give her so much relief that everything is all right.Phone, oh! she adore it more than not more than but no less than her family. This is one way of happiness. It makes her connected with her family by reminding birthday anniversary so  she does not miss one.she really love online shopping website  which is a real khusiyon ki guarantee .Its difficult to make everyone happy but to some one can make happy buying surprise gifts and many more.                                                                                                          
8. Bullies is one thing she always face off.It's part and parcel of life.She get her share for being hard and selfish.If ever her child get bad grades or fall ill or anything than she had lots of incoming,from  irresponsible to carefree to selfish and yaa the one naukri wali mummy.Father is never blamed , she is given a C grade on every parameter no matter how hard she try.                                                                            
9. Motherhood made her more open and now she discuss her problem openly in search of solution. She don't look for sympathy or your concern but soltution. Though how hard she try ,there are critics on her way.                                                                                                                                               
10. Appreciation and Love is only thing she desire.Rest she will solve in a blink of an eye. She want to be cheered like a football player who put all his effort to make a goal. Her life is also like a football match ,where she wanna score maximum goals.

Who is she?
She is one who brought you in this world. A restless mother,a lover,a wife,a daughter ,a next door girl.
Respect her,love her,b kind and bb patien to her ,now you know that what she goes through to make your everyday special.

20 life changing food hacks for your toddler!!

Modern parents ,Messy Kid !!

What to do,if they don't eat!!

Modern parents don't put much effort on feeding their baby right, It's God grace that the kid is doing well and many more one must have heard when their toddler refuse to it.

Well, I was having my own share of anxiety and regret that I am not doing well. I kept on searching numerous website which only show you diet chart but how to prepare and give,no exact mention.I read few books even, but none helped a lot.

I spent handsome amount of mommy and buying formula solid to additional supplementary nutritious food ,baby eating chair,attractive utensils and bla bla.

I tried many recipe which  worked for other children but didn't worked  for me. Everybody kept suggesting me do this and do that but that didn't help either.

I met doctors discussed about the problem and tried to find the solution,but they said only one thing keep on trying and try to understand your child ,she is doing good.

All these self made problems changed me from a cool mummy to some irritated mommy.

I kept on chanting   Nissim Ezekil  poem,For Kalpana  : 

Eat Eat my child

How thin you are.

One thing I learned that market is always ready to cash new mommy worries in form of attractive utensils,chair ,spoon,toys and many more.

Stop, you don't need to run after that,trust me it won't help.You will unnecessary pile up useless goods in your house which will occupy  baby play area.

Be careful before buying anything for baby ,as these sentiment will look like foolishness later.They need toys and other thing ,but above all they need you and your time.Play with them,laugh with them,make them identify the colors,spell the names,keep chanting catchy poems and words,they will be more connected and happy with you.

Your child is about to turn 1 ,now he likes standing and trying to lift his leg to walk ,his physical activity is increasing,so the demand of nutrition for his body.Now their body is capable enough to swallow and a bit of chewing in coming months.It's high time mom,ditch the puree food ,as this will not make their jaw strong.

Every child is different,if you see some child eating without any hustle then it's miracle,but it doesn't happen with everyone,so first shed your notion about it and be positive about your child.

Here,are few hacks ,I learned and thought to share with new mommies :

• Always cook fresh and in small amount.
• Feed  maximum 4 times solid feed to your toddler,rest you can use milk
• Make them a habit of eating with everyone,this way they will get introduce to variety of taste.
• Never force spoon in their mouth,their baby teeth are new,might get hurt.
• Don't panic and ditch to feed if your baby chocks,give them water and with its help try to feed again.
• Make them take,plenty of water,it will clean their mouth and will help in digestion.
• If you fail to feed them,don't shy to take help 
• Above all don't panic,It takes time and every women has to go through this phase

What is healthy and what goes well with your toodler

1.      Moong daal (split green gram) veggie Khichdi or just chawal daal (rice and split green gram preferably as easy to digest) with mashed potato are good food for a start.

2.     Initially mash the half portion and leave other half a bit raw. Try to feed your baby with blunt spoon by singing song, showing them some funny video or anything else. Make use of salt an haldi to a bit less than standard level.

3.     Wheat Poridge ( daliya) .Mix it with moong daal and finely chopped veggies ,add pinch of salt and haldi and make a fine daliya and feed your baby. You can add a pinch of ghee. If your baby likes it continue, if don't leave it.

4.     Oats milk with a pinch of sugar or oats ka poha a bit loose with veggies. 

5.     Mashed Daal Roti.

6.     Mashed Milk Roti.

7.     Mashed Banana with milk and roti.

8.    Samolina(Suji ka halwa),wheat halwa.

9.     Cerelac with Dry dates powder.

10.As snacks you can give finally sliced fruits like apple, cucumber, banana, orange, mango, papaya and other seasonal fruits .

11.  After one year, you can feed boiled Egg white finally chopped with a pinch of salt.

12. Raisins, oats biscuits can also be given.

13. Curd, panner, ghee in small portion can also be introduced.

14. Curd rice or Missi atta roti with curd is also a good option.

15. Don't offer anything very fatty, over sweet, over sour or over fried, this may harm their stomach.

16. Cook 2 times first, then three than four. Always keep a bowl of water with you while feeding. As if they choke tap their head and back and give few spoon of water and feed again.

17. Avoid juices as they won't love to chew and their jaw will become week. 

18. Children imitates a lot, eat with them. Taste them everything you eat ,  whether ice cream ,candy or anything. This will develop their taste bud.

19. One important thing, whenever you introduce new food to baby, give them in small portion and keep an eye in their potty. If they are able to digest, potty will be good, if not it will be reflected in their potty then stop it.

20. One important thing, taste everything before you feed them. Keep food mild in taste, because it is their first step in the world of food. Let them explore and develop taste

Eventually,your child will develop cravings for food and will oppose less to food.

• Let them play with food after they are done eating in morning,as they are about to take bath,so it won't hurt you a lot.

• If you are to visit mall or somewhere else, always keep some food and water with you.

• Halwa and raisins,oats biscuits are good option ,as they are rich fulfill their stomach and easy to feed.

• Speak a lot with them,show them how to chew by singing some song or act where they enjoy and repeat.

New mother's you are doing good and these tricks will help you in getting out of regret and tension.

As it's said "Feeding child is no more child play"

Feel free to ask anything you wanna know:

                                      
                                       

THINK ABOUT A DAY!!

Think about a day,
When you are away.
She has to do,
All chores of the day.

Think about a night,
When you are in a flight
She keeps calling,
Network is out of sight.

Think about a day
Movie is  on it's way
Children shouts
And she reads a lullaby.

Think about a night
Whe her health is not so bright
Your stomach is a battlefield
For hungry rats to fight,
Still she smiles,
 and makes a meal so delight

Think about a day
When background music use to play
Symphony was created
And both of you sway.

Think about a day!
Don't let her go away,
Think about a day.

Baby and Relationships

If you are a mother,you must be having same feeling for your child,as a bachelor,I used to feel,I shouldn't have a child as they pull you back.

However,truth is ,I enjoy every bit of it,when someone calls me Aashi ki mummy ,my heart is filled with immense joy and happiness.

We had  diffiicult times,doc visit, numerous test, anxiety,fear,pain,tiredness but all went away as my baby was born.Now It was no me or him it was us.

Like old days me and my hubby don't go much to movie, restaurant or vacation,still we feel much bonded and close.

A child brings freshness to the relationship of husband and wife.Now you get multiple reason to love and respect each other.

Shopping is one thing men don't love.But don't worry ladies once you have a kid,they will ask you to go out for shopping and buy things for you and baby.They don't behave like a kid anymore.

Love is not only about having sex, hugging and kissing.It is beyond anything.A single word,a small touch ,a laughter,a smile is enough to define how much you are in love.

Love have multiple forms,doing dishes,making milk for baby,changing diapers,awaking all night with baby ,so you can have a better sleep is all love.

My birth of my daughter gave more oxygen to our relationship,now we are way more committed and close to each other.He is way more concerned about my health than anything.

If you like this article feel free to share your feeling.

Presentation Phobia

Kabhi apke sath Aisa hua hai!
Achanak apko bulaya jai for briefing something to team and your legs started shaking,butterfly started flying in stomach,you started feeling thirsty and sweated as if ,you have come out of shower.

I remember how many time in classroom,I was punished for not answering the questions.Though ,I knew the answer my fear of being wrong before everyone let me down.

Once,our school captain was absent,all of a sudden,sir asked me to take the assembly.I was in 9th standard,most of the students were my junior still my legs were shaking and heart beating way to fast like rajdhani express.

My best friend also came along me and saved my day.That day ,I realised ,this way I will be unhappy all my life.

I kept conducting assembly everytime ,I get a chance and my fear of public speaking vanished away.

When you try to speak you fumble,though you know the answer ,still fear to make it,and as a result someone else takes your credit.

It happens and it's very normal.Whatever makes you worry ,do it again ,again and again eventually you will overcome.

Public speaking is the one skill that can set an individual apart and  keep up going.

Presentation have a cascading impact to improve the bottom line of organisation.

As the Indian economy is increasing there are several changes taking place at the business front too.

The executive have to harbor a new approach and learn new skill of managing information.It's important to develop sophisticated interpersonal skills and long range critical thinking capabilities as individuals move up the executive ladder, presentation is one of them.



While presentation few things should be kept in mind.

• It should be concrete,if topic is lengthy than one topic should be discussed at a time.
• Ex: If Topic is about Product we offer,divide them into 3 major points.
• First as editorial Services.                                
• Second as Case Studies Research.                    
• Third as Content Development .
• There should be a smooth transition i.e: close of one presentation should be used as the launch pad for other topic.
• The objective of a presentation should be to do justice to a core topic in limited time.
• Eye contact,voice peech,hand movements do matter in giving a right shot.
• Do, practice multiple times before mirror to overcome the horror of public speaking.      
• There will be counter questions,you have to be ready for that
• Keep it simple,use more of bars,charts and diagrams to show the statistic. 
• To get the audience going with you use humor and most importantly WIIFM.                                                                                           WIIFM  
• The most important aspect of presentation.
• What in it for me
• There must be something of value that a participant must go back convinced that the presentation was great.    
• Keeping WIIFM in mind will help design more relevant and audience friendly presentation.      

Last but not the least practice makes a man perfect, so keep practicing and keep it simple .       

Afterall we are human,we do error and we rectify.These small small things will help you in resolving your bigger not only in office but in life.

Keep Roking.

Daughter's

You are ever glowing flower full of coy,
Who always gives me a reason to joy.

You are my summer,you are my spring,
Who taught me everyday how to zing.

You are my fear,you are my dare,
Who nurtured my feelings,and made me care.

You are my friend,you are my lover,
From dawn to dusk,I can feel your flavour.

Your little fingure showed the beauty of world,
When nothing was left ,for me to hold.

Almighty has been so kind to me
Sent an angel, a daughter to me.

Baby,Bumps and Destination Wedding

When,I use to think of vacation, this song of Andhi movie used to come in my mind. 

तुम आ गए हो ,नूर आ गया है !

नहीं तो चिरागो से ,लॉ जा रही थी। 

जीने की ,तुमसे वजह मिल गई 

बरी बेवजह जिंदगी जा रही थी।

After being a mother travelling was a big no,no.I use to get tired out of packing for a travel of day or two  with baby.
However,this time it was different.
My brother in law opted for destination wedding.

You must be thinking, we are Birla or Ambani who have fancy yacht and going out to Bali or Dubai for grand wedding.

Hold on!It was nothing like that rather it was a jabardasti family ko mana ke le chalo wala wedding.As he choose a Gujrati girl and ours a Bihari fanily who always have a problem if it,s not a arranged one.

Well if you have watched Vicky Doner,the talks between Ayushman and Yamini parents ,you could imagine the situation what would have  happened.

After rounds of talk and talk, rona dhona,ruthna and manana, parents agreed for the wedding supposed to be held in Surat.

Thanks to our society which has slowly  accepted marriages above caste and creed.

Anyways date was in mid summer. For a tropical country like India, summer wedding is like a horror.
But,there was no lagan till next January so the wedding has to happen in this scorching summer only.

Both side excitement was on it's peak,only my heart was sinking low.

As after baby I never went out for a week that too by a train.

I didn't dare to opt for a flight as I wasn't sure about my an year old's reaction.My luggage was ready as if I was going for a month long holiday.

Only a dotting mother can understand the fear of travelling with a baby.
Anyways our train was in early morning from Patna.

That Night everybody was doing gup sup checking their dresses,high heels and makeup kit.

I was busy with my kit.Here the checklist-

• FORMULA MILK
• BOTTLES
• STERLIZERS
• BOTTLE CLEANING BRUSH AND CLEANSER
• BOILED WATER BOTTLE
• CERELAC
• WIPES
• POTTY STAND
• MEDICINES(Neopeptine for gas,Arnica for any kind of bump,paracetamol for fever and many more)
• BOWL AND SPOON
• BABY NAPKINS IN DOZENS
• DRESSES IN DOZENS
• SHOES IN DOZENS
• FANCY CLIPS AND RUBBER BAND
• SOME TOYS FOR ENTERTAINMENT
• ABOVE ALL U NEED ALL HIS FAVORITE RHYMES ON TOES 

As we reached the station,the first bump started,she started crying loudly.The train was about to start, the more the whistle of train increases the more her crying. Anyways I managed to take my seat. She was crying so loudly that everybody got scared what happened.Then I remembered ,she must have done loo.Thank God,it was true.

I cleaned her up and made some milk and took her to sleep.My heart was beating fast ,I was pondering  if this is the trailor , how will be the movie.

  

Thank god as we moved ahead ,she waked up with a smile and played well with everyone.She has learned walking recently,now she was restless as she wants to walk in train.I was felling eww with feeling of germs.

Again she started crying.I tell you children have this BRAHMASTRA which solve all their problems.Everyone started saying let her walk ,let her enjoy.

My eyes were fixed on her steps,though she was wearing shoes still I was counting the killo of germs she was holding back in her shoes.

Now,it was lunch time,everybody started having food.She started putting hands in every plate.I tried to stop her but all in vain. My hubby pressed my hand and asked to let it go as over protective nature might hurt someone's sentiments.

She was licking food from her fingers and showing it to me,out of happiness.

I was watching the time left to reach the destination.

BUMPS kept on coming and finally we reached the destination.

As expected,by the time we reached Surat,she started sneezing.I kept on telling myself, It will be fine nothing to worry.

Thank God, I had medicines with me.In evening we had this Sangeet and Mehndi. Everyone was getting ready in their fancy clothes.I too, did a lot of  makeup and heavy border sari after so long. I was too pretty excited for this evening. We reached the venue .

At first it looked nice. She was fine, but as the DJ played the Gujrati songs  she  again started crying. I requested DJ to play some hindi songs.

I thought she might get familiar and stop crying but all in vain.

I took her to lobby,and tried to feed her but she kept on crying with her heart out.

I noticed, may be my 6 yard heavy border sari or ornaments was hurting her.I took everything out and kept in my purse.Still no change.

Then I thought may be seeing all of a sudden new people and getting lot of attention made her cry as if she has seen ghost.

Mummy Papa all went after us ,as why she is crying .It was an embarrassing moment as the mood of everyone was getting spoiled.

We came back to hotel and took her to room and tried to feed her.she was happy and started playing around the room.

I put out all my makeup and ornaments and came back in pajama.

After that we kept it simple and assured she didn't cry.

I watched all the ceremony though video call in my room without any more bump.

This way she was having fun and my mind was at peace.

It was now kind of vacation for three of us first time.

My baby was happy ,so was I.

We ordered so may delicious things,watched many movie and had a good time with my little munchkin.

 

And we lost Sanju again!!!

We woke up bit late as we both bunked our office to spend some quality time with our family who came to visit us yesterday.

Maa cooked yummy Allo paratha,raita and my fav mushroom do pyaja.The mouthwatering breakfast made me realise,how exciting our rest day gone be.

We were doing gup sup.Rounds of tea was going on.After seeing so many people at home,bai made an excuse and went away.Seeing her go,I felt so helpless as I can picturise myself doing dishes and everybody demanding veriety of food and drinks.

Since,my inlaws were here ,so I didn't dare to ask my hubby for help else he will be labelled "Joru ka Gulam".

Seriously, sometimes, I use to wonder,why he talk like my uncle infront of his parents.As if he is a Rajkumar and  me his maid.I didn't like my uncle way of making Chachi do everything.Sometimes,he even brings friends for dinner without asking Chachi whether she is able to cook or not.

He even don't like bai working in  his house as it's Chachi duty as dadi did.No matter how hard chachi tries she always gets compared to dadi n scored big zero.
Though he loved Chachi a lot, however his way way was bit different.

Thankfully mine not like him.Just in case if someone visits from home ,he behave like that.Meanwhile his cousins who lived nearby ,heard of his parents coming joined us for lunch.To prove acchi bahu infront of everyone,I cooked everything veg ,non veg etc.

As his mother was a bit orthodox and strict vegetarian,so I had dual arrangements of kitchen at my apartment.The induction was complete veg with all utensils and plates in one corner of dinning room  and kitchen with gas stove was full non veg.

Anyways lunch was over ,gup shup was going on.When you are with your people ,how time pass by ,you hardly realize.
We had a very nice veg restaurant Sagar Ratna  in our neighbour.

Maa was vegetarian,she avoid going restaurant with us,if go then hardly she eat anything.So, we  choose very famous veg restaurant ,so we can have  dinner together and maa can enjoy.

 Meanwhile ,power got shut down,it was 3 pm only and in the month of July without power ,one can imagine the heat.
Everybody was feeling annoyed,so his cousins told ,why not visit mall and watch Sanju and return home after having dinner.

I was so relieved as in such irritating humid weather ,I was in no mood to make tea again and do the dishes.

So,out of happiness ,I shouted loudly great idea, let's get ready show is from 4 pm ,I will book the ticket.Papa also supported as Maa was asking for this movie.

He understood the reason behind my excitement and gave a mischievous smile.As yesterday only he asked the for movie,I said no as I am not a big fan of Sanjay Dutt or Ranvir Kapoor either,and missing football world cup for a movie was out of question.

And here we go.We booked an Ola for maa n cousins and we moved after them in another cab.While moving ahead for the first time ,I noticed Sanju poster at every hordings ,even cab radio was playing Sanju song ,which I kinda liked it.

After crossing a major signal I noticed ,I left my phone at home.We called papa to move ahead and get the prints of ticket and I rushed back to  get my home.Now I was about 15 minutes behind my schedule.

Generally,roads are not that busy ,however some VVIP minister had arrived in town so traffic was diverted to another way,which was about 20 minutes more.Anyways keeping my fingers crossed we were moving on.

As we moved ahead,driver realised car is out of fuel.

We were going by outskirts of city ,the petrol pump was occupied by heavy vehicle like trucks and busses.We went in que and got the fuel.By the time they reached the mall and called us ,movie was to start.

We told them to go for movie ,we will be reaching in 10 to 15  minutes.There was a narrow bridge on outskirts of city which connect the city from highway.

Our  problem didn't end here,as we moved ahead on bridge ,a pick up van overloaded with cartoons tumbled down due to weight.
Though no one was injured but we got stuck.Thankfully other people ran and in minutes all got handelled.

We crossed the bridge and reached the mall,then I noticed my neighbour calls and messages.I called her back,and for a second thought to boom my head against any wall.

While hurrying for movie ,I forget to switch off induction chulha.The milk got fired and smoke came out of ventilator.
Seeing the flame, neighbour  immediately called me,seeing no reply  they cut the main switch of buliding.

We reached home.

Thankfully none was hurt,but I lost Sanju again😃

The Bamboo lessons

Bamboo is the most useful plant on earth. It is also considered pious in Hindu religion.
Chatt puja cannot be complete without bamboo sup and daura.

Even in our marriage rituals bamboo plant and sup is considered auspicious.

One cannot deny the fact that how it mitigate water pollution by absorbing nitrogen. Its large canopy and root system prevents soil erosion. The most special quality for which it is known is  its elasticity.

The new bride who is about to start her life is also taught the bamboo lesson. No matter what the circumstances they are asked to hold the family together.

The responsibility of maintaining high nose of family are passed on to her shoulder .She is asked to swallow every worse thing silently and if they fail to do so, they have nowhere to go.

However, one thing we forget that,if bamboo is overstretched it will be break. If not polished properly can hurt your hands.

I was a child in 3rd or 4th grade,when I first heard about this lessons.

A beautiful girl was married in our extended family. She was highly educated a gold medalist in sanskrit .She was capable enough to grab a job.

As she got married in a wealthy family,she was denied of opportunity to join a job. She didn't rebel and accepted their decision willingly for the peace of family.

Later on I always saw ladies gossiping about her all the time.”She does not have manner, she goes out regularly, always do her manmani “ which if I see today I feel absurd.

 How come Organizing a birthday party ,going out for dinner or movies can hurt someones sentiment.She knew what she lost,so she kept herself busy in imparting best of education to her twin daughters.

The other reason was after twins she went for family planning.Now the chance of having a BETA ,DHAN KA LOTA was gone.

I was very fond of her so my mother,as she always talks about education,fashion and many progressive thing.We children adore her very much as she was fun far far away from what we saw ladies doing in our family.

One day ,I visited her and I saw aunty,her mother in law,doing morning prayers in courtyard,praying to son God and asking loudly for a POTA,as if God was actually there.

I went inside and saw her smiling,I asked to whom aunty is talking so loudly.She said ,nothing new.I asked again then she said "Am I Kunti of MAhabharta that God will come and bless me a son.

She know ,I am happy with my daughters,still want me to have a son who will take her to Swarg".

After few years,the torture increased to have a son,then she disclosed her family planning thing and left their house forever with their daughters.

She didn't went to her parents house rather started her own book shop in a collage from their she completed her PhD and today she is sanskrit dept HOD in reputed University.

Her husband though loved her a lot,but didn't have courage to defy her parents.However,the love of her girls love couldn't keep her away.

While imparting bamboo lessons to our girls we forget they too need oxygen.A space,an atmosphere and above all patience to let them grow.

In same manner you cannot keep someone tied in chain. They are human,they have the right to enjoy their life too.They don't insult you,speak absurd thing, and keep on doing her job properly .

If for a while they go out why you get nervous or become insecure ?

Grow up!  Era of bamboo lesson is over. Being judgmental will not harp happiness but only chaos n sorrow.

"Chaotic Indian Wedding"

अरे गाड़ी बुआ को लाने गयी क़ी नहीं , बुटीक से लहंगा का ब्लाउज आया ? और वोः पार्लर  वाली आंटी  आयी की नहीं। ... bla bla blah....

Seriously !!

Why our wedding party does not feel  like Dharma production happy set! As a child I used to wonder why  our family wedding does not look as fancy as our movies.

Why everybody is in hurry as if catching a train!

Ours is a joint family all closely bonded living in the same city. We practically have one or two celebration every week , be it birthday celebration to anniversary to some random wedding and others.  Even if we don't invite outsiders we perfectly score century of guests. Century of family members  multiplied by 10 guests we almost have a thousand guest every medium to big celebration.

From the day the marriage is arranged till the day it's executed,the pressure is so high on brides mother and father and their family. It can only be felt if you are an insider and have the opportunity to look at them from a very close range.

The pressure is not just confined to pleasing groom's parents  rather they have to please every invitee ,which is close to impossible.

The bride or groom has other pressure,about their look ,about their friend their pre and post wedding shoots,how they look,their dress,their make up...bla bla.!!

When they see their parents in such chaos ,they feel as if they are making them do so.
The guilt overpowers the happiness.

The caterer, pandalwala, lightwala, flower wala, DJ and all will do their job perfectly still you will be scored very low doesn't matter how hard you try as critics are everywhere judging you on every parameter.

Khana was ok!
Decoration to esse acha falna ki mossi ki shadi me tha!
DJ ka gane ka taste thik nai hai...!!

Meanwhile,
Sharmaji ko invitation nai gaya,
cousin ki high heel toot guy, 
Mossa ko loose motion ho gay,
dadi ko fever aa gay!
Generator baith gaya!
Now, arrange a jugad after all it's your child wedding.

The trickiest part is gift exchange.

Whatever clothes ,ornaments and sweets you gonna share, its never going to be appreciated.

On your face they will deny as if they don't believe in gifts and surely don't want to take it.However as they will reach their home,the real drama starts.

Aise sari...eww meri bai bhi na pehne!
apni beti ko itna diya kuch hume bhi de dete!
Esse jayda to humne de diya!
Pehle pata hota to hisab se dete...!

Guys enough ,please rise above all those thing,enough is enough.

Give blessings and keep it simple ,no exchange of gifts  so that we can make it easy without any grudges.

After all,these wedding-receptions are a time to meet our family and friends so that we can enjoy together and give our blessings to the newly wed couple.

So, I would like to urge all those who are reading my blog post to try to decrease the gaudiness associated with weddings and sprinkle more fun into it so that the person organizing it can also enjoy ! After all this wedding day might be the most important day of his/ her life !!